Breaking My Silence

As you may have noticed, I haven’t blogged for a few weeks. I’ve had thoughts of things I could post and even drafted a few paragraphs following a Valentine’s Day BG disaster (thank you, chocolate lava cake). But I edited myself and didn’t share.

To be honest, after I wrote about the weeks surrounding my diabetes diagnosis last year, I felt exhausted. Sharing the story was therapeutic at the time, but once I was done I felt a little letdown. It didn’t help that my BG began to sky-rocket around the same time. I certainly went into my second year of diabetes with a bang, with plenty of BG readings nearing 300.

Right after my anniversary, I met with my endo and made sure to remind him I had just marked one year with diabetes. He told me he thought I was doing great and was proud of how far I’d come in a year (he clearly remembered the boxes of tissues that were needed during my first meeting with him). I appreciated his words, but couldn’t help but worry/feel bad about my increasingly high numbers.

I know diabetes doesn’t get easier (and my fear always is that it will get harder), but I need to continue to remind myself that I am doing well managing the disease. There will be plenty of high BGs that I beat myself up over, but there will be many great ones I gloss over as well. I know I am too hard on myself and hope to work on that this year.  

Thanks to all of you who offered kind words and support during my anniversary. I really appreciate the love you’ve given me as I’ve learned to live with diabetes.

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