Thinking Back

I haven’t been blogging much lately. To be honest, I haven’t been thinking about diabetes much lately. Part of that is that I’ve been crazy busy, but another part is that I needed a break from the D (as much  of a break that’s possible from a chronic condition).

I’ve spent a significant amount of time the past year thinking, talking, reading and writing about diabetes. And while it’s been hugely helpful – I’ve found amazing resources and support through the DOC – it’s been all-consuming at times. There is much more to me than diabetes and I don’t want to spend all of my time worrying about my future with the disease.

That being said, I have been thinking some about what my body was doing at this time last year. I was diagnosed at the end of January 2010, which means my pancreas was likely already struggling the month(s) prior. I often wonder when things went wrong. As I enjoyed my Thanksgiving meal last month and holiday cookies this week, I wondered how my body handled similar splurges in 2009. Did I spend last Christmas with blood sugar in the 200s, 300s, 400s? When did my blood sugar start creeping up and up?

After my diagnosis a close friend said she remembered I’d been really tired and rundown at the end of the year. I guess I vaguely remember that too, but it’s kind of how I feel toward the end of every year. It’s impossible to know if I was dragging in November 2009 because of a hectic, non-stop schedule, or because my pancreas was starting to malfunction.

It’s not worth spending too much time trying to pinpoint the beginning, since I’ll never really know. I guess I should just be thankful that my 2009 self was able to enjoy the holidays, blissfully unaware of what was to come in the new year.


4 responses to “Thinking Back

  1. I was diagnosed shortly into a new year too, and when I look back at the pictures from the holiday before I can tell by my appearance that I was starting to look sick.

    Hope you are able to enjoy this holiday season!

  2. My son was diagnosed November 14th, 2009. You and he are right around the same time period. He was drinking tons and tons of water… and wanting to bike all the time…the exercise and the water made me think the weight loss was from that. At some point though… he just stopped even wanting to bike…he was exhausted all the time. He was at over 700bg and a 13 A1c at diagnosis. Today is still a struggle… but he feels soooo much better than he did then.

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